If you heard a good quote, don't keep it to yourself -- call our quote hotline. (Or send email to )

"It is not as bad as it seems, because the voltage is quite low."

-Alexey Pajitnov, explaining his dolphin paintball/electroshock concept.

"Of all the treasure I found on this quest, I think this little fashion tip is the one I will cherish the most."

-Tim Schafer, reminiscing about Uncharted protagonist Nathan Drake's half-tuck.

""Mass Effect" can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.""

-Kevin McCullough, columnist for Townsend.com, shows game journalists how to write a real soundbite.

"We have machine guns full of ideas, rocket launchers full with passion."

-Tim Schafer at GC keynote

"killing people can change people’s lives forever."

-Andrew Rosenblum of Game Life. fame threatens to kill everyone and is subsequently arrested.

"Setting Grand Theft Auto in the safest big city in America would be like setting Halo in Disneyland."

-Peter Vallone, New York City Councilman

"Once... I made pants for myself."

-Alexey Pajitnov — Game Design Challenge 2007

""I spend a lot of time trying to figure out the public, and what it is they want, and what their effing problem is.""

-Tim Schafer

""Oh, man. That's pretty embarrassing. Thanks.""

-Toblix complained that he could not find the shield in Ocarina of Time. Miffy explained "The shield is in the store. You just fucking buy it."

""it's like there is an actual fire and they are trying to put it out by actually throwing money on it""

-Lawrence Bishop, commenting on Sony's PR attempts

""Ha ha fuck off Sony with your shit hardware, software, attitude and pricing.""

-Random Programmer

""To be honest, I wish World of Warcraft was a single player game""

-One of the many idiots that plague the internet

""I accepted the award myself and all they said was that the award was for 'technological innovation for device controller', but looking back, they never really did say for which one.""

-Sony America PR man Dave Karraker

"When I create games, I always try to make the entrance very wide but make it so deep..."

-Mizuguchi in an Ubisoft IRC chat in 2005, explaining nothing

"If you'd ask people if they'd like a PS3 or nothing at all, they're gonna say 'I want a PS3'!"

-Sony PR boss Dave Karraker

"I'll be absolutely honest with you, sometimes in the past I've actually changed little bits of the game to match the misquote, however insane that sounds."

-Peter Molyneux

""I started coding in an attic above an ancient grandmother. She thought I was going to rape her every day""

-Peter Molyneux

"i dont really have too much against the wii but it just reaks of laziness"

-Idiots that plague the internet

"What makes Scarlett Johansson so special is her expression, that inflection in her voice, the way she moves, the way she can go from sexy to vulnerable to cute and to crazy. That's the difference between good and great. How this relates to Gears of War is that it has that intangible difference between the controls working good and working great. "

-CliffyB

"If you make a zombie movie like House of the Dead, what are they expecting? Schindler's List?"

-Uwe "Raging Boll" Boll

"If you asked me if Sony's strength in hardware was in decline, right now I guess I would have to say that might be true."

-Ken Kuturagi

""Seeing DNF not being in development will be a major shake up. It's like someone coming along and telling you the moon is gone...""

-Shacker "marmite," regarding news that 3D Realms may well be totally imploding.

""I have realised I've got the PR equivalent of Tourette's. I can't help myself. It's the inability to downplay stuff - I have to get excited!""

-Sir Molyneux in an interview with Eurogamer

"Sure the PSP was beautiful, shining, pretty and posh, whereas the DS was definitely the ugly sister. But hey, the ugly sister is better in the sack."

-Jeff Minter

"Every time we go down a path, we look behind and [Microsoft is] right there - we just can't shake these guys. I wish that they would come up with some strategies of their own"

-Kaz Hirai - SCEA ironically crying about copy cats

""We've seen what happens to those sorts of movies and the world would be a better place if nine tenths of those projects had never happened.""

-Gabe Newell, on why Valve are not going to rush a Half-Life movie.

""The lower-end 20Gb version of PlayStation 3 has no wi-fi, no HDMI and none of the other slots in it, so it’s really a question of where we would position it.""

-Sony's UK boss Ray Macguire explains why the 20GB version of the PS3 is rubbish and not likely to be released in Europe.

"We know Sony have had a lot of issues with their rumble feature and they’ve had to withdraw it – because they didn’t innovate, they copied. "

-David Yarnton, Head of Nintendo UK, talking to MCV

"J was just, umm. J was doing a BMX event or something."

-Peter Moore when asked why J Allard wasn't at E3

"[My next game] will not only make the bed. It will make you not want to get out of bed. It will also make you breakfast."

-Peter Molyneux responds to a journalist who asked if his next game will "make our beds and tuck us in at night"

"People are going to buy two [consoles]. They're going to buy an Xbox and they're going to buy a Wii ... for the price of one PS3."

-Microsoft honcho Peter Moore

""We want to thank everyone who wrote good things about it the day you heard it. Both of you.""

-Reggie Fils-Aime, thanking lovers of Wii

"Winning E3 is overrated. I won it at Sega in '99 and 2000 with Dreamcast and see where that got me!"

-Peter Moore - interviewed by next-gen.biz

""A lot of thought went into the name.""

-Perrin Kaplan, Vice President of Marketing and Corporate Affairs for Nintendo of America

""One of the challenges for the Revolution is that it's not HD.""

-EA LA's VP and manager Neil Young, proving that EA really do 'Challenge Everything'...unless it doesn't support HD.

"There are lots of toon-shaded titles on the market now, but when you look how the contrast of light and shadow is central in our mangas, even in comics from abroad, there are few games that use this sense of darkness. So I want to deliver a very specific, totally new pixel shader based on darkness: an artistic texture, mixed with various effects."

-Suda Goichi (Killer 7) discusses his Kafka-inspired new game Kurayami

"Is it possible to buy the full version with US dollars? I don't think I have any euros..."

-Mewtated, an Idle Forumer

"Sometimes your own self-censorship can be your worst enemy. No idea is too strange or too goofy."

-Tim Schafer

"It's safe to say the Playstation 3 is the most powerful game machine on the planet. But it has technical limitations. It seems to be incapable of rendering 3-way sex scenes in real time."

-David Jaffe, on why God of War 2 isn't going "next gen"

"Whichever games Will Wright makes, I like. His games can't be created by anybody other than Will Wright. They give the player intellectual stimulation, and his games are always entertaining, but they never depend on excessive violence, killing others and whatnot. He's one of those very rare people who can make his own entertainment."

-Nintendo president Satoru Iwata

-Introversion accepting the 2006 Seumas McNally Grand Prize at the Independent Games Festival Awards

"Fact checking is fun and not alive in the game industry press!"

-John Romero

"What we’re saying is that the next generation is all about focus. It's about keeping the talented people you’ve got working on something that is going to be incredible, revolutionary and all the things that I always say when we're about to start another new game."

-Peter Molyneux

"I've always wanted to do a realistic galactic colonization game. [...] A lot of the game would be focused on the issue of whether there is other intelligent life in the galaxy. I've been researching this for more than three years now."

-Will Wright foreshadows Spore in 1999

"The Vikings crossed the ocean in wooden boats, getting where they wanted to go on pure determination. We are like the Vikings, and this is our message of hope for Atari."

-Atari's Bruno Bonnell

"I stopped my son from playing videogames, and he began to develop all kinds of creative skills. It's human to seek out the quickest reward, but if you get the reward immediately, you don't go anywhere else. You learn that the delayed reward is more rewarding."

-Film director Michel Gondry, sadly unaware of delayed rewards in video games

"If he's a passenger, that's OK. But he had a bloody lip, and only the air bag on the driver's side had blood on it. The passenger-side air bag did not. My Scooby-Doo detectives are looking closely into that."

-The officer in charge of the Gizmondo Ferrari incident

"Under this strategy, the DS becomes portable information rather than game gear"

-Internet Week is confused.

"Linear entertainment in single-player is to media what masturbation is to sex. It'll always be there, but it is not the real experience."

-Lars Butler, EAs former VP of global online operations, on why multiplayer gaming is the future

"That was great... that was great. (laughs) I didn't really expect that, so when I read that article, I was screaming: ''yaaaaaay!'' (laughs) She's cool. That article... it was not only sexual. She mentioned about the future possibilities about the game experience. So in that way she's very smart and forward-thinking. That was such a nice article. Games have big possibilities for every possible direction, so that's the sort of spirit I want to see in interactive entertainment. "

-Tetsuo Mizuguchi describes his reaction to reading about Jane Pickard's 'additional' use of the Rez Trance Vibrator

"A lot of those [NES/SNES era] games are fun in your head when you think, 'Oh, yeah when I was 12, this was really fun,' and you have these great nostalgic reasons to play them. Then you do play them, and they're just not very fun anymore."

-Xbox Live Arcade GM Greg Canessa commenting on Revolution's virtual console

"DS is way better than PSP 'cause of pictochat and also because of PSP sucks."

-Dale and friends, some random kids THAT CLEARLY RULE.

"Well, we certainly stirred the pot with this one. But I just want to assure you I thought the interview was very fair and balanced, as well as somewhat entertaining."

-Peter Moore email to Dan Hsu, commenting on his hardball interview

"Ohhh, that fucking, sticky... thing!"

-Our friend describing Katamari Damacy after seeing a picture of Katamari hats

"[A DS redesign announcement at E3] has been rumoured, I don't know for how long, but we haven't got any plans at the moment. Nothing I know of."

-Nintendo UK boss David Yarnton, a day before Nintendo DS Lite announcement

"Ahhhh, where is whale in Thames river? I want to harpoon."

-Sammy Chairman Mr Satomi (also known as our friend Imran... ex-Sega employee)

""I usually had one hand on the controller and one in a bag of chips" "

-Subway's "Jared" blaming his previous and famous fat ass on Nintendo.

""You can do many professions in World of Warcraft, like mining, smiting, leather working, engineering, etc...""

-A simple typo changes this Christian review fairly dramatically

"Beep... beep... beep... beep"

-The voice of Leonard Nimoy quoting the Sputnik satellite in Civilization IV.

"I’d rather my son take a more proactive, less habitual drug like cocaine, than lock himself away and play video games. It’s so lazy. At least with pills and coke you’re out and about doing something."

-Roxanne Richardson, mother of one son, currently pregnant with another, as quoted from the Independent on Sunday

-One of Marek's collegues :(

"[The Xbox 360] became more than a product; it became a global sensation that put us well on our way to becoming the fastest selling console in history."

-Peter Moore, very shrewdly applying spin at this year's CES

"The original concept of Pac-Man was the result of my desire to create a game that everyone could enjoy. With a female target audience in mind, I wanted to create a game about eating."

-Pacman designer Toru Iwatani

"I don't know what my next game is going to be, but it's not going to be a movie adaptation."

-Michel Ancel

"I believe that gaming companies will be bigger than Google. Far more people want to enjoy the Internet, not just searching it."

-Tack Jim Kim, CEO of NCsoft

"Seriously, Mario is the one. I love Mario."

-Peter Moore, marketing VP for Xbox 360

""Upon returning home Jack Thompson discovered a tube of vaginal lubricant left at his front door. Thompson said he believes Rockstar may have been responsible for leaving it there.""

-Excerpt from a Wikipedia entry on Jack Thompson

"There's a unique smell of game development... like an old ham sandwich or the reptile house. One time we called in the Air Conditioning company and it was stinking all the time. The repairman that came in said, 'I think it's your staff.'"

-Splash Damage's Edward Stern

"Video game design as a college major? It's yet another sign of the coming of the apocalypse. Schools of higher learning are simply cashing in on a fad that is destructive to society."

-Ted Rueter, Assistant Professor of Political Science at DePauw University, Greencastle, Indiana

"I'm not a fan of the artistic direction, or the violence that earned it an M rating. The story, character, dialog, voice acting, and visual style were not to my taste."

-Jordan Mechner on Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

"When one of the journalists asked me the proverbial 'how many weapons in the game' my feelings about most game marketing started uncontrollably bubbling to the surface. [...] When they market films do they say 'Coming soon: Citizen Kane 2: Rosebud's Revenge: The Wrath of Kane, now featuring 10 actors, 13 sets, and 8 writers!'? No, they don't."

-Cliffy B

"Johnathan Wendel's blue eyes stare raptly at the computer screen, his long, thin fingers gliding the mouse side to side as he moves through dark corridors of a video game where a lethal opponent lurks."

-Article about Fatal1ty... or romance novel?

"Yes, it is fun to make fun of the German, because I Nazi and make movies with that Nazi Money"

-Movie 'director' Uwe Boll

"Mark has a very narrow section of the business. Epic builds middleware, they're very technically savvy guys, but he doesn't have a Revolution controller, he doesn't have a dev kit, he's talking about something he knows nothing about."

-Nintendo's Jim Merrick responds to Mark Rein's claim of Revolution games being gimmicky, cheap or crappy

"I think the question is asked too much among game designers: what will a 16-year old find cool? And the answer is always the same thing. Why isn't the question what might they find cool?"

-Graham Linehan (co-creator of comedy series Father Ted)

"I think this is a great opportunity for us, primarily because it brings with it the possibility of free EA games."

-"The Simpsons" exec-producer James L. Brooks on EA's game license deal

"When asked by a journalist at the X05 event 'What's the big new thing in Gears of War aside from graphics?', I said 'uh, graphics.' I mean give me a break. Close your eyes and play a game and tell me how much fun that is."

-Mark Rein

"Do you want it to be a holographic experience that you play in your bathtub?"

-J Allard, when asked what's really different about Xbox 360

"I play a lot of Christian video games, they don’t have fights. You just have to follow Jesus and pick up little crosses for points."

-Some Christian highlighting the faults in Christian video games.

"Videogame community? What's next, "the necromancy community?""

-Jack Thompson

"WHERE IS NINTENCATS? Dogs are fucking shit."

-Spaff

"Your commentary has included extreme hyperbole and your tactics have included personally attacking individuals for whom I have a great deal of respect."

-David Walsh in an open letter to Jack Thompson

"Extreme"

-J Allard

"Gears of War spanked us hard and good. Thank you Epic, can we have another?"

-Peter Moore at X05 quoting a journalist's reaction at E3

"Woo, Quake 4 will make you shake a slight amount and then you'll forget all about it and go back to whatever you were doing before!"

-A Shacker, on Todd Hollenshed's remark that Quake 4 is a "4.0 on the Richter scale."

"I don't play games that much anymore. They're... boring. I'll occasionally play solitaire to kill five minutes."

-Game design guru Chris Crawford

"I realise that a lot of these sports games that big companies like EA make are very enjoyable, but If you want to play a sports game, why not go outside and play sports?"

-Keita Takahashi, creator of Katamari Damacy

"I like those Idle Thumbs chaps, although they have the vacuous-sounding Lisa Foster as their quote of the moment, which is a slightly shameful thing. "

-Alice Taylor from Wonderland; we hang our heads in mordant shame Alice.

"Sorry, but the whole Women In Games thing makes me really angry. And not just during a certain time of the month."

-Lisa Foster in an editorial on Next-Gen

"What if Sonic actually existed in real life?"

-Yuji Naka reveals the theme of the next-gen Sonic.

"Every gamer who plays. Every one who used to play. Even those who have yet to play. Nintendo is your bet."

-Nintendo president Satoru Iwata unveils the Revolution controller

"Look, Matrix Online is good, but it's like being in the early 90's and trying to put a fighting game up against Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter; it's just not going to happen. There are a lot of other online games that are just sucking wind right now because so many people are playing WOW."

-Chris Kramer, a spokesman for Sony Online Entertainment, new(ish) owners of The Matrix Online.

"Thursday's launch saw thousands queue in London's Oxford Street throughout Wednesday afternoon and evening to be first to buy one. Luckily some of our gorgeous Page 3 girls were on hand to help them pass the time."

-That classic source of 'news'; The Sun, at the launch of the PSP in Europe,

"For me, that ["Are You Prepared?"] billboard was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to do something about this issue. If I were a film director or a political blog writer, I would have been inspired to go off and make a movie or write an article... But seeing as how I make video games for a living, I felt that I had to find a way to inject this ageless message into a game: We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

-American McGee, on why Bad Day L.A. is being made.

"Katamari isn't like Grand Theft Auto or The Sims — I didn't know what the point of contact would be, or what having a point of contact between video games and reality was. So, thinking in this sort of flow lead to We Love Katamari being the way it is. I suppose I'm forcing things a bit, but I thought I might like to try to connect the real world with the game world just a bit."

-Keita Takahashi, talking about you know what.

"Adults enjoy Mario too. It is a trigger to again become primitive, primal, as a way of thinking and remembering. An adult is a child who has more ethics and morals. That's all. When I am a child, creating, I am not creating a game. I am in the game. The game is not for children, it is for me. It is for the adult that still has a character of a child."

-Shigeru Miyamoto, in Game Over

"I wonder what kind of stat modifiers half-elves get from fake tits."

-Steve Gaynor

"If people liked Dances With Wolves or Braveheart, they'll like this movie [Dungeon Siege]"

-Uwe Boll

"Storytelling is mostly about people. Games are mostly about things, so far. It is easier to create mathematical simulations about things than people."

-Ernest Adams in a conference keynote

-PAX Sponsors listing. Their caps.

"We don’t have enough money to pay the hotel bill, meeting room, and power…can you pay us some cash"

-Some Quakeguys send an email to John Carmack from their makeshift LAN in a hotel across the street from ID's offices, and inadvertantly start the first Quakecon.

"HOnestly[sic], are all of you gamers on drugs, or what?"

-Jack Thompson (*sigh*) in an email to Scott from VG Cats

"Our view is basically we've got a Ferrari, they've got a Ferrari. Our Ferrari is leaving the starting line substantially before their Ferrari is, and in most races that's a very nice thing."

-Bill Gates on Xbox 360 vs PS3

"OH SWEET!! ALIEN VERSUS HOMINID!!!"

-A kid at Chris' retail job who came across Alien Hominid on one of the demo GameCubes

"...much to the delight, one can be sure, of pedophiles around the globe who can rehearse, in virtual reality, for their abuse"

-Infamous attorney Jack Thompson on how The Sims 2 is apparently worse than 'Hot Coffee' as it can be modified to contain nekkid children

"Technologically, I think every game developer should be terrified of the next generation of processors. Your existing code, you can just throw it away. It's not going to be helpful in creating next generation game titles."

-Gabe Newell

-Rodney Walker, Rockstar Games spokesperson

"The stuff about 'We don't want to introduce these ideas because we're afraid people might steal them' — the PS3 and Xbox 360 are set. They can't go back and redesign that hardware. I don't even believe that argument."

-Former Microsoft VP Ed Fries on the Nintendo Revolution

-Robert Winder, BBC Journalist, in his article "Why I hate Harry Potter"

"GameCube owners are generally great people who love great games."

-Jonathon Smith, Development Director on Lego Star Wars

"If a [SiN] episode does anywhere near the volume of a merely average game title, it will be extremely successful on the financial side. The math is very much in our favor and this is a great business model."

-Ritual CEO Steve Nix on digitally distributing SiN sequel episodes

"Advertising makes the gaming experience more realistic ... people accept it and actually like it."

-Massive Inc. chief marketing officer Nicholas Longano

"Game design is an art. It's like creating great television."

-MTV Games label chief Jeff Yapp

-Walter Kim

"Little Johnny should be learning how to read, not how to kill cops"

-US Senator Schumer commenting on 'Eidos' 25 to life'

-Atari CFO Diane Baker

"Romero was a nasty fucker, always talking about jizz."

-Daniel Morgan in the context of Quake IRC circa 1995

"I...see games as an emerging medium of expression, one which already is culturally valuable on its own terms and one whose full potential has not yet been realized. I see something in games and game culture which is worth defending, even if I am often disappointed with individual titles."

-Henry Jenkins, MIT professor and videogame defender

"I think it all goes back to a lack of awareness and fear of the unknown. History is littered with shifts in entertainment taste that freaked the shit out of the establishment because they didn't understand what was going on."

-Rockstar CEO Terry Donovan on Grand Theft Auto controversies

"We're not about selling new kinds of TVs, or taking control of the living room."

-Nintendo president Satoru Iwata

-Chris' friend's brother's friend, about which next-gen console he'll be purchasing.

"I was raped by the gas pump."

-Jake Rodkin

"I thought it was quite a good impression of a man wrestling a hologram."

-Alex Ashhby

"Ben, what are you doing? Get over here and nail me!"

-Mo

"So what? He always gets the lady, and in the end, isn't that what archaeology is all about?"

-Alex and Chris simultaneously on Indiana Jones

"What if Alex had survived? ... Even though he didn't."

-Metallus

"I disappeared and am feared dead or maimed."

-Alex Ashby

"Hm. I wonder if I could have used Okami to draw a cock."

-Alex Ashby

"When we were putting the game in the box we thought 'holy shit, we forgot to let the player breathe'."

-Joseph Staten of Bungie comments on the design of Halo 2

"I'm about making games, I'm about playing games. Some nights I play Super Smash Brothers, thats my game, I kick some you know what."

-Nintendo President Satoru Iwata at the Nintendo press conference

"Hair is such a communicator of style."

-Glenn Entis, chief visual officer for EA

-Idle Thumbs staff

"Air traffic control in San Francisco is something of a movable feast."

-Virgin Atlantic Captain Richard Howard, on Idle Thumbs UK's flight over to the US

"For the same reason we don’t allow kids to buy pornography, cigarettes, or alcohol, we shouldn’t allow them to go to stores and buy video games that teach them to do the very things we put people in jail for – abusing women, joining street gangs, killing police officers, or even assassinating President Kennedy."

-California State Assembly Speaker Pro Tem, Leland Yee, on legally banning the sale of "ultra-violent" games to California's youngsters.

"If you want to be good, you have to practice. What we need is more experiences that are casual fun."

-Robert Bach - Xbox cigar chomper on attracting more women and casual gamers to consoles

"I think that not only supporting the sale of in-game characters, items and currency, but also taking a 'cut' of those sales, is not only a mistake but one of the worst decisions in the history of the MMORPG industry."

-Mythic CEO Mark Jacobs in response to SOE's Everquest auction plans

"[The Windwaker characters] looked like puppets without personality. I prefer the new look, closer to manga style."

-Eiji Aonuma

"DNF is up and running and in very fine form indeed. We're in the process of pulling it all together, and very much look forward to showing it off. It won't be vaporware much longer."

-George Broussard, 3D Realms

"It's a game about... you. It allows anyone who plays the game to relive their life, their entire individual life. That's a pretty ambitious concept."

-Peter Molyneux sows fear in many, again.

"The Xbox was for Americans, you know, Texans, the guys who like everything big. That's fine. But our focus now is worldwide, and we're going to make a system that reflects that goal."

-J Allard on MS' strategy for Xbox 2

"Everybody in the industry has been surprised with World of Warcraft. I can tell you from firsthand observation that there are people who haven't played games in years who are now spending 20 hours a week playing the game."

-EA president Larry Probst on the impact WoW has had on EA sales numbers

"Videogames need to be CHEAPER! They need to get down to the $19.99 price point you fucking morons! Damn."

-The ever-eloquent CliffyB makes a good point

"Bribery."

-Overheard, as uttered by Sony U.S. games R&D director Dominic Mallinson while walking out of Microsoft's "HDTV giveaway" keynote at GDC.

-Some lady overheard in the GDC press room, talking about Donkey Konga, we hope.

-Video game industry professional at Game Developer's Conference

"Sorry, but I have fucked up badly, I am prick!!"

-Resident Thumbster Alex Ashby after accidentally deleting our latest article about Orisinal

-Devin Faraci on Uwe Boll, CHUD.com Alone in the Dark review

"No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master."

-Hunter S. Thompson, 1937 - 2005

"Can it be written as to not be some black monolith descending upon the apes of the game industry?"

-Marek Bronsting talks about some of our articles

"It's weird how you get an odd tingly feeling when another man touches your knee"

-Ben Andac, Thumb Pirate